Monday, January 13, 2014

Time off

(Dear Diary,
My entries don’t seem to be very ‘deep’ lately, and that’s just because I can’t get the feelings out that are going through my head in a way I feel they can be said openly. Hopefully with time, this will get easier.)

We are two weeks in to the year 2014 and I can’t believe it! I am having a hard time putting a 4 in place of the 3 that I was writing forever! Was 2013 a long year for you, too?!

January is the start of a detox for me! We’ve decided to put TTC on the back burner for a month or two. After the Christmas season we had, I feel like it’s the right time to take a break and LIVE for a minute. I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself…a couple months with NO doctor appointments, NO fertility enhancing meds, and no crazy side effects. Not to mention, the break on the pocket book! ;-)

 I’m happy knowing that when I’m ready to get back on the horse – I have a wonderful doctor to go back to and he will be waiting for me!  The nurse has called to check in and she is so supportive.

In the meantime, I’d like to share a book that I recently finished…and it was pretty good!
 Every Drunken Cheerleader, Why not me?

Do you have any good books to recommend? I’ve read Inconceivable and Hannah’s Hope…just to list a couple.

Happy Monday!




Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Do not let your hearts be troubled

Happy New Year! (I’m not sure how appropriate the word HAPPY is, but hey, what else are you going to say?)

I’m not sure where to start, since I don’t really have anything fun or exciting to blog about…So I’ll just cut straight to it.

Christmas and New Year’s Eve has come and went for 2013. The week before Christmas I spent several days at my parent’s house with friends, family and extended family. We had people coming in and out visiting, bringing meals and flowers, since my dad was put on hospice care.  We spent the next couple of weeks just sitting with Dad…telling him we loved him and having short conversations before he became incoherent. Christmas morning, just before 3AM, my dad gained his wings and went to be with the Lord.

I miss him very much. His quality of life had really deteriorated so I know he is not suffering anymore, so that brings a LITTLE comfort.

Just as he was put on hospice care, I found out we were EXPECTING! The injections worked out for us! I was faced with the question…do I tell my dad on his death bed that he is going to be a grandpa, or do I keep quiet? On one hand, it could give him the chance to be excited for me, he’s always been my cheerleader… and on another, it could make him sad he wouldn’t be able to know the child. I was torn…

Little did I know, God had other plans…

About 4 days before his passing, I lost the baby. The MC finished up the day he passed. It brought me peace, knowing that my dad was alongside the baby on the way to heaven. I know that God goes before us, and prepares a place for us…a place that is PERFECT and suited JUST FOR YOU… I pray that God made room for my two babies in my dad’s PERFECT PLACE.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."