Sunday, October 12, 2014

We did it!

Well, We did it! We finally sold our house!

After only four showings - in a little over a month - We struck a deal! We couldn't be happier to be moving on to a new season of life. And to sweeten the deal even more, we found our new home last Friday and our offer was accepted! We are set to close on our current house and move on to the next home the last week of October! As if I didn't love the fall season already, it just got better. 


Thursday, October 2, 2014


I'm on a roll this week! I didn't want to forget to share this fun and exciting news with you.

If you weren't aware... There is a wonderful TTC/Infertility support system over on Instagram. I've come to know many gals from all over the world. Even a few from Oklahoma! If you'd like to find out more and/or get connected, Follow me on IG @tatettc

I originally found out about this by simply looking up the hashtag: infertiliy. It has opened a whole new support system for myself and many others. You can share pictures, ask questions, share inspiration, share your blog and connect with other bloggers!

One of the most sweetest girls, Chelsea, coordinates a gift exchange just about every quarter. I have participated in the My favorite things exchange, Scarf exchange and a couple others. With Fall and Winter just around the corner, she has started the Mug Exchange! If you'd like to participate or get more information - Follow this link!

If you have the time, I would encourage you to join in on the fun! It's really fun connecting with people who are in the same season of life as you are in, and being able to send them some goodies to brighten up their day. So, Go follow the link above and check Chelsea's blog out while you are there. She's AWESOME.


Wednesday, October 1, 2014


Hello there, October! I thought you might never make your appearance!

October is my favorite month. I LOVE the gorgeous weather that autumn brings. The leaves are changing, the weather cools down and everyone seems to be feeling joyous. That joyous feeling might come from an overdose from pumpkin spice lattes, but hey, whatever works! October is also my birth month. My mom, her twin and I all share the same birthday on the 14th, so it’s always been a fun month. I remember as a child having big birthday parties that included a hayride, costumes and a bonfire for roasting wieners and marshmallows! Oh the memories I have made in October!

Since we have been TTC, October has slightly changed for me. I would have never known that  October became National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in 1988. Here’s a short excerpt I found on

I have had many friends go to such lengths to finally get their positive pregnancy tests, only to be saddened by a chemical pregnancy and/or miscarriage. Some may disagree, but I look at that as losing a part of you. You had another human being starting to take shape inside of you. As for myself, I have had one chemical pregnancy and two miscarriages.

If I was to tell you that a miscarriage doesn’t have any effect on yourself, your family and marriage, I would be wrong. It does. You may feel like less of a woman, discover how unsupportive your friends and family are and lastly, you may start questioning your marriage. In my opinion, these are normal feelings that come with infertility and miscarriage and with time, these feelings will work their selves out.

This month, I am going to try my best to speak out more about infertility and miscarriage. I have such a hard time with this, because just one simple post on Instagram about either subject is often ignored. People don’t want to talk about the topic and some don’t even want to acknowledge your struggle. I encourage anyone who read this blog to SPEAK UP this month. Let’s educate people in our lives about National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month!


Thursday, September 25, 2014

Are we still family?

Today marks the 9 month anniversary of my Dad's passing. 9 months. That's 275 days. Almost one full year. The thought of him being gone still takes my breath away at times. I've had this blog topic on my mind for nearly the last 8 months, but it's even heavier on my heart the past couple of weeks. I know I've sat down to write this blog at least 3 times now, and the words just won't come out. I looked at the calendar earlier and realized the date, the 25th, and I knew I needed try again.

Does the family relationship prior to death affect the kinship after death? This is a topic that I have revisited so often in my mind. Where do we go from here?

I find myself wanting to keep a relationship with everyone as it has been in the past. I have many aunts, uncles, cousins (and now two second cousins) and my grandmother whom I've always had a close relationship with. When my dad was so sick they were all very encouraging, supportive and loving to myself, my mother and my sisters. 

What has happened now? Where has all of the love and support gone? I have not spoke to an aunt or uncle in the last 8 months. 

I often find myself wondering if they feel as though my dad's passing was our fault. I don't know how they could even begin to think that, but why else would they leave us in the dust? 

I do understand how painful they may find it to be around their deceased son/brothers family - but how do they think WE feel? The glue that kept our family strong is now gone. We have the same hurt as they do.

I am hopeful that in the coming days we can open a line of communication again. Right now, it just feels too uncomfortable to do so. Do I wait on them to come around or do I make the first move? It's just a really unfortunate situation. Is is meant to be that we depart from the family and begin to live without wondering and/or worrying what they think of us? 

I don't think this fully portrays my frustration and sadness, but it's a start. So many questions, and no one to answer them. 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I know you don't blog a lot...

The Life Cycle of a Blog Post | Mommy Runs It
My long lost blog has been neglected for far too long. I have posted two blogs that mysteriously disappeared, but otherwise, there hasn’t been much to say!

We were finally able to put our house on the market. After many weeks of cleaning, packing and re-carpeting the whole house, the For Sale sign was finally placed in the front yard a few weeks ago. I have one side of the garage filled with boxes of home d├ęcor, kitchen gadgets and whatever else was cluttering our space. We have had one showing so far. I hope this is meant to be, we are really unhappy where we are living right now and we need this change. ...the neighbors, the drive to work, etc.

We have a very exciting trip to Belize coming up in the next several weeks. I am hoping to come back fresh and renewed and ready to start (in)fertility treatments again. Why not give it another shot (literally) in Nov and Dec since I have met my deductible this year? :)

On that same note, I’ve finally been able to lose some weight. In the last few weeks I’ve lost 19lbs. I hate to say it, but I could lose 19lbs several more times before I am comfortable again. I am continuing to stay active as much as possible and controlling my portions. Also, I’ve cut out all forms of sugary beverages. (Except I do have 2tsp of sugar in my one cup of coffee in the morning!) I am hoping that a little weight loss will help with our next round or two of treatments. Otherwise, we will be forced to move on to something more aggressive. They say losing just 10% of your body weight can really influence your fertility. Let’s hope ‘they’ are right!

Until next time…
stay strong the weekend is coming soon





Sunday, July 20, 2014

My Stash

If all goes as planned, we will be putting a for sale sign in our front yard on August 1. I am overjoyed!! This week we’ve had a couple contractors out to measure for new carpet as well as check out a bathroom repair we need done. In the next two weeks, those tasks should be complete. In the meantime, we are continuing to pack, clean and do some painting. At this point, we have put TCC on the back burner. Last cycle was an $800+ bust and I just can’t spend that kind of money again- if I’m not really ready. (I’ve got some personal things I’m working through, but that’s a different story.)

Emptied Closet

As the packing continued, I had to pack up my stash. This included several items that I was sure I would be able to use last year. We have onesies, adorable children’s books, a 2 pack of binkies my husband gave me for Christmas, because I was temporarily pregnant, and a couple baby dining sets that we thought were cool a few years ago. I probably don’t even need to mention the diapers that I had to pack…that was kind of embarrassing! I also have a 3 sets of formula that were sent to me for some reason… I’m planning to make a trip to the Pregnancy Resource Center to drop a few items off – before they expire!

I bought this rainbow onesie from a friend on Etsy. She gave me the red/blue one as a gift. Someday these will be worn by a beautiful redheaded baby.

Do you have a secret stash? Where do you store it? Do you keep it hidden from guests? J

I am extremely happy to be starting a new journey! I hope this brings a lot of joy and excitement to our lives.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Babysitters Club

Always the babysitter, never the baby-maker

Since I can remember, I’ve always been a ‘babysitter.’ In my younger teenage years, I would spend my summers babysitting my sisters while our parents worked. I would cook for them, play with them and clean up their messes. As they got older and made more friends – I would babysit their friends also.

Fast forward several years…

I have gained a wonderful niece (4) and a couple second cousins (3&4). (We are a really close family, so yes; I am really close to my 2nd cousins! AKA Babies having babies!)   I babysit or borrow these kiddos as frequently or infrequently as I can/want. I really enjoy having babies around, it’s just when they leave it leaves a void in my heart…wondering will we ever have that laughter and noise in our home permanently? I pray that we will.

Last year our niece had graduated from sleeping in her pack n’ play to sleeping in a bed with a rail. They needed a babysitter so they could go out, but we had gotten rid of the bed in our guest room so she had nowhere to sleep. My husband insisted that he would go to the furniture store and buy a twin bed – JUST FOR HER. Wow, that hit me like a load of bricks. I ran to JCPenny and picked out a cute and brightly colored bedding set and some fluffy pillows. I was sprucing up a room I had planned to be a nursery for other people’s kids.?.? I was angry with myself for being so bitter. But how could I not be?

My cousin had a baby 4 years ago. She needs to audition for the show “I didn’t know I was pregnant” because she didn’t. She was a softball college student in Kansas, training hard before the season started. Running bleachers, weight training, pitching lessons, the whole shebang. The whole week she had been having a lot of pain in her abdomen. After an ER visit, she was admitted to the hospital where she would have her baby boy. He was precious. She wanted to put him up for adoption but her parents said, NO WAY and have helped raise him. I was his first babysitter when he came home from the hospital. I kept him on Friday afternoons while his grandma worked. I bought him clothes to keep at my house, bibs, binkies, bottles, and blankets. (I even let him pee on my couch because I forgot how boys pee!!)

It is so hard to continue to be asked to babysit for people while they go out and do fun things. I appreciate that they trust me with their children, but why am I always the babysitter? One friend will say, “Baby has been talking about you guys all day. She really likes Matt.” Is her child really asking for us or is she just buttering us up to watch her child while she plays? It seems like lately we are asked more often to babysit than to hang out? Are we now the infertiles who long to have children so they feel if they throw their children at us – we will be okay? We aren’t part of the parent’s club…because let’s be real here, dogs don’t count! J

I’m so ready to be a part of that PARENT CLUB and out of the BABYSITTERS CLUB.